Prediction for 2010: Do More MTB Races

In search of more dirt will lead Heckawee to more MTB races. And why not? They're hard, competitive, and FUN! There's always plenty of beer and feasty goodies to be had after the races! So here's to a good times on the singletrack in 2010!

Immunity to Shiftyness

Last two days were gorgeous with a brisk southern wind that pushed temps up to 55. Happy times. At about 5:45 last evening, the wind pushed from the north and today keeps pushing, holding temps steady at 31. With less than a week till the shortest day of the year, which will also signal the start of longer days again, Heckawee looks to ward off any unfriendly viruses. Already this fall, Heckawee has had 3 cases of the Swine Flu or Yellow Fever or something. ROY Will, Guapo, and the Professor all fell to nasty cases that kept them from sharing their peace pipes for weeks. Recent reports have it that the Professor is still quarantined and has sent out for Big Dale to deliver a few bottles Cave Creek. Let's hope the Professor can pull through this before Jackoffs is out of business. So even Heckawee needs to be reminded this time of year to take care of their health. Cyclingnews borrowed and published old Heckawee immunity boosting techniques like eating Magic Mushrooms and growing your own herbs (#9 & #15), both of which have kept Heckawee exploring gravel roads all the cold seasons to date. Remember to embrace these techniques and be careful of any slimy-redneck-pig-fuckers.

Heckawee Year-End Pow-wow!

Heckawee year-end awards pow-wow was held Friday at the newly appointed President Molteni's house. President Molteni is seen here observing the festivities:

As would be expected, there was no shortage excellent fare. The main course a whole pork shoulder with two sauce choices:This was also a nominee for Heckawee BBQ of the Year from Mitchell's BBQ in Tamms. Most Heckawee made sandwiches on Big Tom's Homeade Hot Buns:For sides there was feijoada: With a nice helping of collard greens or Big Tom's Homeade Baked Beans: And don't forget the tamales: And for desert Guapo delivered some warm amish pies (apple and pecan) and vanilla ice cream (not pictured): The vino went quick: After dinner, Heckawee was polled for the year-end awards.

Heckawee ROY (male): Will!

Heckawee ROY (female): Kelly!

Here are the ROY discuss the races they won and came close to winning:

Mostimproved Heckawee: Molteni! Honorable mention: Don!

Heckawee Epic of the Year: Tamms' BBQ ride. Honorable mentions: Operation Pine Hills Rescue of Guapo Ride, Tour de Donut, Fern Cliff Ride.

Heckawee Silo Stop of the Year: Cobden!

Heckawee BBQ of the Year: Dixie & Mitchell's!

MVH (most valuable Heckawee): Chief!

Ah, the night was a success! Heckawee thanks all of its brave!

"Brussel sprouts give me gas."

Happy Birthday, Nurse Shirley!

Without you, Heckawee could never be lost!!! We all look forward to partying with you Friday at Molteni's!

WWMD

The year-end pow-wow is set for this Friday at President Molteni's house from 7 to whenever Molteni says it's time to go. No word yet if everyone will be allowed to enter the home or if we'll hang out in the driveway. This will be a bring-your-own-beverage affair. Good Heckawee brave will also bring a dish to share with fellow Heckawee. The Chief is also volunteering his time to pick up some local southern bbq pork, which should make everyone happy. There will also be inspirational cookies that Guapo will be sampling. Yes, Guapo has been found alive and semi-conscious after a long journey took him somewhere. Awards will be presented, which will include but not be limited to:

• Rookie of the Year (Men's & Women's),
• Epic Ride of the Year,
• Most Improved,
• New BBQ of the Year,
• Silo-Stop of the Year,
• & Most Valuable Heckawee.

Of course, feel free to bring your own awards. We'll also be collecting canned goods for the local food pantry. See you there!

Be sure to check out Coach modeling his new Heckawee jersey on a cyclocross movie set he created for his blog.

Storming State Champs & Chopping Beef!

No, Heckawee did not return with any State Championship belts this year. Their presence was felt in the Masters 30+, 50+, and 4B races. The course suited the fast and technically skilled as despite the mostly frozen dry terrain, racers were regularly falling on their asses. Chief & Dave both finished 12th in their races and were as prepared as they could have been in the 33-degree and breezy lakefront course. Their performance came after the Chief had an unfortunate misshap with the waffle maker in the morning and had to go with the French toast sticks. No worries though, gamefaces were on. Gary finished a strong 40th--no word yet if he had any Polish Sausage handups in the sand.

So out beyond the Rockies on the Pacific, Coach Magnuson pinned on a number and proved that his time away has been good to him--8th place! Congratulations! He will be racing and recruiting more Heckawee on December 20th. Apparently, cyclocross season never ends in southern California due to the seasons never changing! Heckawee finds this to be an ideal match for the Coach as he never enjoyed the falling leaves or budding trees.

Heckawee still waits for pictures of the Coach in kit so here is another from the state champs:Beef chopping. Three Sox fans went searching for beef sandwiches in Wrigleyville after the State Champs and found a promising location that suited their tastes and desires. They found that looks can be deceiving, especially in Wrigleyville, and what looks to be a good lineup may not make it to June. This beef certainly looks good in the field:But not in jeans. In Wrigleyville, appearances are deceptive. But the fries are alright:


Some links:
Dude falling on his face.
Video of 30+

Put on your Gameface.

The Chief is cleansed and has been dreaming clearly beneath the light of the full moon about how someone can urinate from lemon juice than from a case of bood light silos. Heckawee brave think Chief should go back to inspiration. As Heckawee readys for State, they think about base layers, snoring drugs, stadium horns, cowbells, and the chicken marsala at the Olive Garden. Oh, the pageantry. Too bad it's gotta be an out and back. The Mystery Machine will be in a drive thru for beef sandwhiches before the protest period ends.

Molteni's out. Gary's in but pondering the circus of the race he's registered for.

No snow or rain is in the forecast though the temps should be hovering around the freezing mark. So Heckawee wonders whether to build a fire inside the Mystery Machine or if electric ice fishing socks really work. It's eerily quiet. It's serious: The Professor had to share a bottle with the founder, Mullison. Gameface is on.

Night riding, State Cross, & Year-End Awards Pow-wow

Due to the likelihood of cowboy rednecks hunting deer into the night, the thursday night ride is gonna stick to the roads less traveled.

The Mystery Machine is departing for an overnight out and back to the state champ race this weekend. So far Heckawee should be represented in at least 3 categories. The Coach is still confirming he'll be pinning up the western Heckawee for the first time in two seasons. Sprinkle some dust in your peace pipe and the ash on oatmeal for his good luck and healthy result. The state race is the Heckawee Nationals this year and word is that the Chief turned to the Master Cleanse this week--let's hope the spirits protect Nurse Shirley. Washboard Dave has been frying baked cod while Molteni is on strict diet of Mary Lou's biscuits and gravy. Gary is eating glass and tile. Guapo is MIA after chasing the wild horses.


Spare ribs are on the menu for the year-end pow wow... As well as Gigondas. Official date is still TBA. So far there's a short list for Heckawee ROY:

Will:

Kelly:

Sunny and 70 everyday sounds boring.

Your character is built hours from home with no radar to tell you there's no end to the rain in sight, only Speedmax and Mr. Tuffy and two extra tubes protecting you from a bad day, gloves so wet you'll wring them out if you can manage to make it to Jackoff's with a enough time for two bottles and daylight to get home, a Bic lighter in your pocket so drenched you wouldn't be able to spark a fire for days (if you wanted to), and warm faucet water running over your discolored pinkie finger giving you an instant moment of relief. The character is your attitude. The attitude not to whine and cry about being soaked on your day out. The attitude to not try to hurt yourself or your buddies in order to get home a little bit sooner. Really, a sign of good character building is to wait until the ride is over to make fun of your buddy (Molteni) for soiling his bibshorts somewhere while going up Rhine Road. Jesus, dude, that wasn't sand. Take a pill for that.

Have a nice ride.

Parabéns, Flavia!

Muitas felicidades pra você!

Heckawee Blog is Back.

Somehow, it's been months since Heckawee has updated its adventures, yet Heckawee, as usual, has not wavered it its traditions despite rainy days, broken clavicles, more bad batches of Cave Creek, many good batches of inspirations, and inspirations from south of the equator.

Tales of the 1 lb Supermax bbq sandwiches and the men who ate them will be told as will the tales of the men who did not eat them--these men have since handed their peace pipes over to proper authorities. So too will come the tales of the Professor's love affair with a busload of wine trail enthusiasts and Will's meatballs.

Rumors are circulating via Heckawee shaman that the Coach, Mike Magnuson, will be showing up to race this weekend. Stay tuned...

Here's a couple shots displaying Heckawee skills from this past weekend:

Tour de Champaign

Southwest Wisco Day 2: You want donuts with that?

After fueling up at the Kwikery in Platteville, Heckawee were led to a new settlement of women in Lancaster, WI. They could not stay as Coach had them on strict schedule.

But the day was too beautiful and the climbs too long and the views too inspiring to stay on track. They traveled in the wrong direction and GPS took over to get them back to Mount Hope in time to meet 60 bikers at a friendly establishment.
Guapo discovered a new friendly species.
Another day without Pittz.

Southwest Wisco Day 1: Baked fish.

Heckawee Elders were summoned to meet in the settlement of Mineral Point, Wisconsin, to explore new routes.

They found the terrain to be fertile and filled with friendly tribes serving fresh moldy cheese and sausage with a array of beers to select. They also found this place to be a pain in the ass to travel around in.

Ah, but they didn't always have stinky wine and cheese and sausage. Sometimes they drank Old Milwaukee and cheeseburgers and wrinkly fries. The elder woman drank Old Style.
Guapo dreamed happy dreams in this new land.

Madison Schpinner!

Coach became a bubble bee for a spin around the paths to and around the isthmus.
And at the Terrace, beverages were refreshing as the Chief described his thoughts on settling north of the humidity line.
Guapo listened with his best behavior in what seemed to be deep concentration, though he had really just discovered the bratwurst on the grill.Coach led the final journey intent on returning to sandbag the Ronde!

Heckawee Blister Surgery.

Heckawee Nurse diagnosed Dave with stupidity and a friction burn on the palm of his hand from sliding across pavement during the O'Fallon Grand Prix.

After a few days of discomfort and growth of fluids, an old world surgery took place with a chianti sedatement. First Heckawee Nurse marinated and sucked puss from the blister:

Then began to skin the injury like a chicken leg:Removing the skin unveiled a meaty layer of white meat:
Mmm...
So did Dave learn from his mistake?