Friday, January 29, 2010

Training Through It...

With the announcement that Louisville will host the 2013 World Cyclocross Championships came the announcement that it will also host the 2012 Masters World Championships, and Heckawee discovered its purpose all these years has not been to discover all the regional native hieroglyphics and dirt roads but to race the Masters World Cyclocross Championships. For a moment the smoke had cleared and the pipes were cashed and Heckawee recognized where they were at. To be expected, this felt weird. Like miles-of-soft-dirt-to-smooth-asphalt weird. The pipes were repacked and lighters flicked and the went to Jackoff's to rethink everything.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Birthday Wishes...

Happy birthday to El Guapo and a happy belated birthday to Female ROY 2009 Kelly!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Welcome to 2010...

Thus far Heckawee has been enjoying sub-zero temperatures in the saddles of their mountain bikes along the trails of Cedar Lake and trespasses of Trail of Tears forest. A slight scare happened last night when the Chief thought he was going to have to put Guapo on his shoulder and haul him and two bikes out of the forest after Guapo had torn his rear derailleur off his bike. Good news: Chief realized Guapo could walk. Bad news: no word on the whereabouts of Guapo or Molteni.

Heckawee also sent a scouting mission to Rio de Janeiro to explore the possibilities of setting up a Heckawee base camp there. The results of this mission have been mostly positive with a number of complexities. First off, the roads are not safe for bicycles. Period. Crazy Brazilians, whether behind the wheels of city buses, VW buses, taxis, or Fiat's powered by natural gas, believe holding a steering wheel automatically gives them Emerson Fittipaldi status and drive as such no matter if they're in a dark tunnel, open road, or up a winding mountain road. So since Heckawee likes dirt, this is very positive. Heckawee will ride the trails, but be prepared to get the heart rate up in the forests near Rio. If the trail is flat enough to ride easy, look out for men with guns, because it's probably part of a favela. If the trail is more remote, it'll likely be going straight up or straight down. It'll be good for cyclocross training.

First thing Heckawee will notice about Rio, even before they watch the toilet water drain counter clockwise, is the seasons are reversed. So this will be good for Heckawee to setup it's Summer cyclocross training camp in Rio during Winter. Though some of Heckawee may not like the Winter beach weather in Rio, they will adjust quickly to the 60 and 70 degree temps. During Summer in Rio, you're crazy to be in the woods on a bike. Get off it and go to the beach, have a beer, and have a look around, dumbfuck.

Heckawee will like the diet as the only commonly seen vegetable served is black beans cooked with various hams. Mangos and papayas are as available as the fresh coconut water sold on every street corner. And the quest to find the perfect pineapple gives you ample opportunities to eat many excellent pineapples. Cafezinhos, or espresso, are served throughout the day, everywhere. For the main course, most are served family style so here's a picture of two dishes meant to serve two:

So as long as the Chief can locate some greens to keep himself regular, Heckawee bellies will have happytimes.

As for beverages, there is Brazilian wine, but under no circumstances should any Heckawee drink it. There are many options for bood light though, as Brazilian beer companies, like Skol and Antarctica, have perfected the bood light recipe and put it into cans, both tall and short, that are sold to you for about a dollar anywhere you breathe air in public. And for a sugary nightcap or morning kickstart, caipirinhas are a excellent choice.

So Heckawee is making plans for its Summer/Winter cyclocross training camp this July. See you all there. Don't forget your Speedo.